My Sweet Boy & a Difficult Decision

Well as many of you may know, I wrote early in the week about how my oldest cat Frosty is sick. I took him to the vet yesterday and it was much worse than I could have imagined. Turns out that is colon is not working at all and has several large masses in it. It is totally blocked. Also, his blood work shows that he is severely anemic & his liver isn't functioning hardly at all. The only option the vet thought might be possible is to do a risky surgery to try to help his colon. That would cost over $2000 and she honestly doesn't even know if it would help, or that he would even survive the surgery. Of course when she told me this, I was beyond devastated. He doesn't appear to be in any pain, he acts pretty close to normal, just not as much energy. Although she can't know for sure, the Dr says there is no way he can be so sick and not be suffering. The vet said that although she can't make the choice for me, she feels it would be best to put him to sleep. I didn't know what to do at the time. All I knew is I wanted to take him home to say goodbye. I told them that my dad would bring him back today to do "it". But my dad and mom felt like they should talk to the vet before then. I think they wanted to hear it directly from her because I was so hysterical by the time I got home. Daddy refused to take him today until he could hear it for himself. So my mom talked to the vet and she confirmed everything I told them. So now it is up to me. How long do we wait. Do we watch him suffer and die at home or do we put him out of his misery. I wish I had the courage to take him down there myself, but I know I can't. It's my baby and I don't think I could possibly be the one to hand him over. So I think my dad is going to take him the first of the week. I don't know, I can't even think straight. I feel like I am in a fog. I know he is just an animal, but he is my baby. He was with me through all the most difficult times in my life. He has listened to me cry and stayed in bed with me when I have been sick. I feel like I have failed him. I feel like if I had done something different, then things wouldn't be so bad.

Just keep me in your thoughts this weekend. I pray no one else ever has to make a decision like this.