Back to the Alphabet Soup

Sorry folks, long time no blog. I have wanted to but I have felt like I should include a new alphabet blog first and I have come to realize D is not one of my favorite letters. It has me sorta stumped. Anyway, here goes my meditations on the letter D.

Dolls - I really don't care for dolls. When I was a little girl, I wasn't much of a baby doll girl. I had one named Joy who was totally bald. I never really wanted those that would cry and poop or whatever. Of course I adored my Barbies, but I think that is more about fashion. Now, dolls really creep me out. Especially the ones in antique stores, with the eyes that roll around in their heads. Serious nightmare material. Plus, they always seem to be "looking" at you. Nope, I will never be one of those little old ladies with 100 china dolls piled on the bed in my guest room, LOL.

DHS - Good ol' Danville High School, my illustrious alma mater. What is there to say? Did I get a good education? Well, in English and history most definitely. Mr. Walker and Mrs. Fleming were awesome. Other subjects, not so much. Overall, I HATED high school. I was a very unhappy lonely little person. I didn't feel like I had anything in common with anyone and didn't fit in anywhere. The people who know me now would have never recognized that shy girl. I didn't come of my shell so to speak until I was in college. I have reconnected with a few of the people I went to school with on Facebook, but by and large I never see anyone and I like it that way. It is too painful for me. It brings up too many bad memories. I really don't want to remember the girl I was then. I buried her a long time ago.

Depression - This is a topic I am very passionate about. I have suffered from moderate to severe depression ever since I hit puberty. That is one reason high school was so hard for me. I had all the normal teenage drama going on plus my crazy mind to boot. This was way before there were things like Zoloft or Prozac and no one really acknowledged that young people could suffer to. I am not ashamed to say I have been on medication for years. It has been a god send for me. It was like I spent my teenage years walking around in a foggy bubble. It blocked everything I saw, felt and experienced. The medicine helps to lift that fog. I don't really talk about it all that much. I am not the type to take my "bad days" out on others. Most people will never know when I am having a bad "spell". I tend to keep too much of it bottled in, which makes things worse. My hope in writing this is that anyone else who might be suffering might think about getting some help. I am not ashamed and neither should you be. Depression is not a choice. It is not just "feeling sorry for yourself". I can't imagine that I or anyone else would suffer by choice. A good attitude helps, but only so much. It helps to find someone to talk to that understands. There is always hope and light at the end of the tunnel. I am living proof of that :)

Well that is my entry for the lovely letter D. I promise I won't wait so long again before I blog. I have lots I would like to talk about. Hope everyone has a super week !!!